If you are reading this then the Mayan Fantasy Football League will continue next season, or at least through this season, or at least through today.
Things are a bit better than many had believed.
Dooms-dayers and naysayers predicted the world would end.
Well, for the New York Jets anyway.
For those of you who calculated wrongly and ran up multiple store credit purchases, told your boss where to hide the Mayan gold, partied like there was no tomorrow, sunbathed nude on your car roof driving down Egan at rush hour.... well, today is your reckoning.
If you are reading this there is going to be Crimson Bears hockey tonight and tomorrow against the Homer Mariners.
A giant serpent did not swallow Treadwell Arena.
Homer, by the way, has a few players that attend from the outlying Russian communities. Russia, you may have read, went bonkers about today and bought up matches and fled villages. I believe California's annual Burning Man celebration started that way.
If you are reading this then the Capital City Classic basketball tournament will still be returning on Dec. 27-29 at JDHS and the Thunder Dome tourney will be at TMHS Jan. 10-12.
Locusts did not eat all the flooring at the gymnasiums and winged monkeys will not be flying down to carry off the cheerleaders and their little dogs.
Did we really need the Mayans this year?
I already did not have enough sunscreen for solar flares.
I did not get the vaccine if the superbug bit.
Did not plant a garden or hoard fuel.
I look terrible in Bermuda Shorts so climate change is right up there.
If you are reading this today and rang up the old Visa shopping spree, thinking that the debt would fall under the "act of God" clause in the small print on your monthly statement, well... I hear that mall Santa jobs pay a few extra bucks.
For those of you who planned a dinner feast to witness the look of fear on guests whom included mother-in-laws, obstinate cousins, rude store tellers, and the high school prom queen that was on your nerves since kindergarten, well... awkward, and now you have a few extra mouths to feed tonight.
If you are reading this then Eaglecrest is open everyday except Christmas, through Jan. 7.
The earth did not put forth every unleashed dog's droppings from the past 20 years and regurgitate them willy-nilly upon Upper Hilary, Blackbear, West Bowl or the Ridge.
You can still join me to ski on my birthday (Dec. 24) before I go into work and figure out how to write something you enjoy.
Yes, bad things have happened to good people.
Innocents have been lost or endured horrific acts.
Chaos is present around the globe.
Maybe sometimes it feels like it would be so much easier to let our cares and sadness be vanquished.
I prefer to remember good times, offer condolences, and try to do for those who cannot. I like to go to alumni games over the holidays (JD girls tonight 7 p.m., boys tomorrow 4 p.m., hockey Dec. 27 6:45 p.m.); I like to see the snow faces on people arriving in the Eaglecrest parking lot.
A colleague of mine stated, "If God wanted to destroy the planet, it would be disobedient of us to try and survive."
The Jets? Their world ended a few weeks ago and they are still trying to hang in there.
I get it... but if we are not happy with a few things, let us not hope for the end of the world... let us just hope for a better season next year.
We suffer "end of the world syndrome" every year... it is called the NFL.
Things could be worse.
If you are reading this you could have Mark Sanchez, Tim Tebow and Greg McElroy on your Mayan Fantasy Football Team.