As I grow older, I seem to care less about tact and often use dirty looks to convey my feelings instead of words. My answers to the cheerful morning salutations from my beloved family sound more like predatory grunts than the English language.

I remember this type of behavior in my own stepfather. We were afraid to approach him until after he had breakfast and a cigarette or two. Generally he greeted us with a "be quiet and eat" every morning and much the same in the evenings at dinner. You may surmise that he wasn't a very happy man, but you are wrong. He was very pleasant and even humorous in the company of his friends and fellow police officers. He was only rude to those of us who were stuck in the same house.

This behavior isn't limited to fathers; it is epidemic among men from all walks of life. I have a friend who is a confirmed bachelor, and he is one sour cat most days. Think about our vice president - he's a millionaire politician and the second in charge of our country, but how often have you seen him smile? My bet is less than the faces on Mount Rushmore. Guys, we need to lighten up a bit.

So what's the deal? Is it some kind of male menopause? Are we doomed to a life of scowls and complaints as we grow older? The answer is both yes and no. The bad attitude starts long before we can be considered officially mature. Have you ever seen the way teenage boys treat their girlfriends? It can be plain scary. Boys go from ripping the wings off of bugs and throwing fire crackers at stray dogs to torturing unsuspecting adolescent girls. Most have perfected their technique on a long-suffering sister, well before they start dating.

Women are saints for putting up with us. Sometimes I go on an hour-long gripe at a simple suggestion to go shopping. My wife has endured endless lectures about the cost of living, just for asking for a couple of bucks. I love her dearly, so what's wrong with me? Our families should be a source of joy, so why are we so cold-blooded?

I think it's a recessive genetic trait that has hung around from the Hunter/Gatherer period. It's the remnants of a bad attitude we got from the pressures and dangers of searching for food every day. No one faults a caveman for being in a bad mood. Sleeping in a cave can dampen your spirits a bit. Add to that the probability of a neighboring tribe sneaking in at night and stealing your woman and one can understand the origins of the male bad mood.

Excuses aside, how can we men find a way to be nicer to our loved ones? Would a smile in the morning kill us? Small steps can make big impressions. Instead of glaring at your family across the table, try telling them that you love them. The words will bring an instant smile to your face.