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 Gerry 'Naturalman' Bigelow |
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It's the holiday season once again. This is the best season to be in a relationship; lots of parties and festivities to attend, with lots of cheer and good vibrations flowing around.
Even the downtown bars seem a bit more relaxed and everyone looks good in their new Christmas outfits. This is a great opportunity for us men to let our loved ones know how much we really care through gift-giving.
Now, I know most of you guys hate shopping for gifts, but it's easier than sitting through the romantic comedy "Hope Floats." Gift-giving is a great way to get out of talking about how you feel without getting in trouble for being out of touch with your emotions. Come on guys, isn't a big smile on your partner's face worth the trip to one of Juneau's sprawling malls?
I'm here to help, gentlemen. I've got a few guidelines that I think have served me well in the past, and I'm going to share them if you like it or not.
The first thing you have to do is refrain from shopping for anything that you would like for yourself. Let's admit it, gone are the days of buying new appliances for Christmas. You may want a new 62-inch, flat-screen TV to watch the game on, but Oprah doesn't look as good on a widescreen. Also, stay away from cookware and cleaning supplies. Those items will foster a quiet, seething resentment you never intended.
Second, seek guidance. Call up a female family member or your partner's best friend. Ask them what you should buy, write it down and then go get it. It doesn't matter if they keep it a secret or not. If your sweetheart knows beforehand that you bought a crappy gift, they'll somehow let you know. Most likely by asking if you kept the receipt.
Third, be creative. No, I'm not saying that you need to make anything. But if you give her a terry cloth bathrobe for the 15th year in a row, will Christmas night be as exciting as you hoped for? A little something from Victoria's Secret works much better, trust me.
My brothers, don't be afraid to talk to the sales clerk. Women like to help men shop. Just remember that you are buying a gift for your wife or girlfriend and not the 20-something cutie helping you. If you find a voice in your mind telling you that she doesn't need what you are planning to buy, chances are it's a good gift. Go against your instincts, for goodness sake.
To end, this is your best chance to make up for the grinch you usually are most of the year. Spoil your loved ones and take some extra time this year to pick out something special.
Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah and have a peaceful Kwanzaa. I'll see you in the checkout lines.
• Gerry Bigelow can be reached at gerrybigelow@yahoo.com.
