I was at the Juneau School District Budget Proposal meeting on Tuesday, and I am confused by the angry response to our governor. As a teacher I am grateful to our governor’s leadership in a time when corrupt politicians with lobbying ties are bankrupting schools across the country to move money into the pockets of multinationals.
Up til now, I was under the false impression that my job was to prepare students for an intellectual future in a profession of their choice. Thanks to Parnell’s firm stance on keeping 18 billion dollars in the pockets of oil companies he once lobbied for, I no longer need to teach the children as if they will be lawyers, doctors, teachers, computer scientists, or astronauts. I now know exactly what to teach: pipe welding.
Gone are the days of reading in my room. Gone are the days of writing and talking about history. Science? Who needs science? We have a wonderful understanding of science already in our culture. How many children can weld pipe?
We will need money for welding machines. Luckily for Alaska, the country has schools in dire need of books all over, and not one of those schools can afford new text books. This means we can sell our used textbooks to some of the districts who have not already purchased curriculum in intelligent design from Texas.
We could also do away with lunch. The GOP has continued to show why giving to the poor creates nothing but a sense of entitlement. The right has spoken clearly — hungry children in schools is not the problem of Republicans. Besides, it takes days to starve. Children need welding machines - not food!
My plan suggests a way to fund welding for elementary school children. We won’t be able to afford leathers to keep the children from being burned, and there won’t be nurses to deal with burns. But those kids will be able to weld.
I am left with one question though: If the GOP is correct, trickle-down-economics dictates that schools cannot go broke because the money of the rich magically pours into the pockets of the poor through funding from the rich. Maybe we should check the Adam Smith gauge to ensure it’s working. Where is that invisible hand anyways?
Adam Berkey
Juneau
(P.S. to my students: The object of this lesson was ‘satire.’ Look it up.)
Comments (6)
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Thanks for the P.S. We wouldn't have known about that "satire" thing otherwise. If you have to explain the joke it probably didn't go over. Here's some satire for you: Borrow $75,000 to get a Women's Studies degree then start looking for "an intellectual future in a profession of [you]r choice." By comparison, welding seems a pretty brilliant career decision.
Elitist
Mr. Berkey is obviously an elitist holding his nose as he speaks of welders. People who work with their hands, including highly-paid specialists trades people like pipeline welders, are the backbone of this economy and the providers of what we consume every day in our easy lifestyles. Mr. Berkey is saying that we should spend more money so students don't end up as welders, and that is entirely in keeping with Juneau elitism.
I'll bet Mr. Berkey has similar views of miners and farmers, and he may even hold his nose when he talks to or about soldiers. To adopt his writing approach; Gosh, I sure hope he isn't one of the teachers about to lose his job!
Seriously, glacierdogs?
Have you never read Jonathan Swift's satire entitled "A Modest Proposal?" It was one of my favorites as a student.
Mr. Berkey is not belittling welders, for goodness sake --- he's making a point and welders are the vehicle for his satire. It's not against welders, of course. Come on, read it again!
Mr. Berkey, I don't know where you teach, but reading it brought me a chuckle this morning and I hope your students enjoy it as well.
The point is that humans are
The point is that humans are bestowed with an intelligence like no other animal. For centuries, the highest virtue has been to apply our minds to problems rather than our bodies. There is nothing wrong with being a welder--it's a necessary job. But if we live in a society where kids' dreams entail making enough money to get by until they can retire and die, then I do believe we are a failed species.
I don't think "good enough" is an ethos we should be instilling in our kids.
Thanks Berkey!
I've just decided not to have kids until I can afford to send them to private school. I love making important life decisions!
the point wasn't...
...that welding is a bad career choice. Welding is an absolute necessity. The point he was making is that we don't need *every* student graduating from *every* Alaska high school to become a welder. Can you imagine what having that many trained welders would do to that profession?
The point was to keep Alaska diversified by placer a higher emphasis on education and fully funding it.