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She Who Need Not Be Named

Posted: June 4, 2011 - 8:29pm

Just when we thought we were going to get a break from answering the question about she who need not be named, here we go again. My husband forbids her name coming up in conversation within our household. Fortunately, the local paper arrives outside our house and I’m free to pontificate on Palin. But I agree I don’t like giving her any more media attention than her narcissistic self demands. Only I can’t resist commenting on her latest “all about me, all about show” spectacle.

Who else could conduct a secret tour in a fancy painted bus headed out on an unscheduled tour that has the media tripping all over themselves to cover the non-announcement? Only our showstopping Sarah could. Who else could put together an hour-long self-promotion documentary entitled, “Undefeated” when even those with advancing memory loss will still recollect the 2008 election in which she and McCain were soundly defeated? Only our Wasilla wanna-be-everything fame gal … S-ar

So much for traveling down South as an everyday Alaskan and just getting to talk about the weather, the Northern lights or bears. Now alas, it’s all her once again. The tour guide, must now answer the question, “is that where she lived?” when they point out the Governor’s mansion. “Have you ever met her?” is the question next asked as you’re pointing out the grandeur of goats on Mount Juneau. Is this really happening again? Alas, it is.

While this realization is sad and depressing on its own, I can’t help but think about the what if on the Palin factor. What if S-ar represented the true Alaska face of women struggling against domestic violence? What if she stayed true to her original beliefs in climate change and let the world know that the Arctic is heating up 2 to 3 times the rate of the Lower 48? Where would the Alaska pipeline project be if she her used her energy appeal to align everyone behind one natural gas bridge to a clean energy future? Or what about the cause of special needs education? That would have been a natural rally point for a greater public good. She could have taken so many purposeful turns rather than book deals, TV self promotion and now a mystery tour of speculation. Instead she rings true to a twist on a popular Alaskan bumper sticker — “Alaska Girls Kick Sarah’s A#*.”

So where is the silver lining for Alaska and for those of us who must now answer again those predicable questions? For me it’s in the fact that she might actually run. I got a robo call from the Tea Party this week. They had mistaken me for a far right conservative. They asked who I thought was the best person to defeat Barack Obama. My answer, “S-ar …” Only she is the ultimate turn-off for independents. According to a poll last March when you match up Palin against the troubled actor Charlie Sheen, Palin gets 36 percent of the independent vote compared to Sheen’s 41 percent. Knowing this, I so enjoyed the caller’s reply to my Palin response … “an excellent choice”.

The other silver lining was recently captured in a political cartoon in the Juneau Empire where the comedians are praying she runs. Yes! Bring it on. Tina Fey for President!

Sarcasm aside, the best news of the week is that ‘she’ appears to buying a home in Arizona. When asked about this potential move, she explains, “You know, many, many Alaskans purchase property in Arizona, Nevada and Texas.” So is this her final association for Alaska? Not only can we see Russia but we buy property in Arizona. If this means no more “oh, you’re from Alaska — what do you think of S-ar?” I am all for it. Property in Arizona? You betcha!

• Troll is a longtime Alaska resident and resides in Douglas.

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