Southeast Showdown drama



More money? Really?

It seems like reality television, or the appeal of reality television, has struck the participants at Roughhouse Friday’s in Marlintini’s Lounge harder than an Al “Mean Machine” Valentine roundhouse.

The day of the Southeast Showdown Championship fights, of which I had bragged about in writing, one of the chief battlers in the MMA lightweight championship shows up and demands more money or he is not fighting.

Henry Dehling, I feel for you.

I wouldn’t want to get hit, tackled, or choke-holed by anybody, at any price... let alone by Craig Reishus, arguably the best MMA pound-for-pounder in the state.

You might have waited until those Discovery Channel producers had started filming. It makes for good TV.

Now that there is a deal in place and a television reality drama coming they will need heroes, the downtrodden, the unlucky and, well...

I am not going to use the chicken label.

I claim the chicken label for myself... bawk, bawk, bawk... nope, you will never catch me in the ring with anybody - male, female, or chicken for that matter.

I don’t like pain and I cannot fight.

I run well.

My body likes to attempt sports that involve my appendages undulating in a trajectory that takes me up a mountain or through the muskeg.

That said, I don’t show up at the Frank Maier Marathon and demand my entrance fee paid. Or talk my Hoonah Masters teammates into pulling out of the Gold Medal Tournament unless we are given Gatorade. Or drag my wiener dog Koenig out of the kennel show because he is going up against the alpha-freaking-Dachshund-of-the-world. No matter how many of my beer-swilling friends usually come along to watch me participate in these events.


You fight in a bar, in Alaska... or a ring in an event center that sells liquor about 60-feet away...

Now if Al “Mean Machine” Valentine would have held out for more dough... I could respect that.

Al has fought professionally in places that wouldn’t even wash your protector cup. Al has battled under lights brighter than the ones you first saw at birth young man.

Al comes out of retirement to train when he sees punks acting like fools in the ring and disrespecting the sport and opponents.

Kind of what you did, in a way.

The fight world is a cruel dance partner my friend.

Maybe you should explain backing out of a fight to Richie “Hellboy” Whitson. Whitson is a fighter that paid his dues and is paying his dues. He and Al are a few of the reasons there is room at Centennial Hall and Marlintini’s Lounge for newbie’s, wannabe’s and sportie’s like you to fight.

Better yet, challenge Hellboy and then back out. See how that improves your reputation in the fight world.

Oh wait, Whitson is fighting professionally out of L.A. for Team Quest.

Okay, disrespect James “The Beast” Roberts or Aaron Tucker (that last fight was a fluke) or Lincoln Maka (yikes).

You might cause Al “Mean Machine” Valentine to come out of retirement once again.. and take up mixed martial arts... and be in that opposite corner...

Now that would be a fight I would pay to watch... at any price.


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