Okay. So I decided I am not rooting for the Houston Astros this year or the Minnesota Twins, or the, gulp, SEATTLE MARINERS!
What the snaggle-toothed-old-chewy-tobacco-scout is going on here????!!!!
Who is in charge of this major league drafting thing in the Emerald City anyway?
Mr. Wizard, Hello!!!!! We have a Dylan Baker out here.
The Astros took shortstop Carlos Correa from the Puerto Rico Baseball Academy as the first pick in Monday’s 2012 Major League Baseball Draft.
Granted, he could be a franchise cornerstone.
But has Correa ever stood on a glacier????!!!! I think not.
The Twins took outfielder Byron Buxton of Appling County High School in Georgia. Yeah, yeah... he has blazing speed to run down flies and power to rock scoreboards.
But has he ever faced a brown bear????!!!! Probably not.
And the Mariners... I am woefully sad today. The large foam rubber hand with the number one finger pointed high toward their success, a true fans companion for those televised games we are trying to find here in Alaska, and a prop my dear departed mother would not be caught without, well it is sagging pitifully right now.
The Mariners chose catcher Mike Zunino from the University of Florida. Okay, they say he is the best college catcher and DI position player brown nosing on the draft board.
But has he caught a 55-pound King Salmon??!! In XtraTufs??!! I highly doubt it.
I definitely won’t be cheering for the Baltimore Orioles either, or the Kansas City Royals, Pittsburg Pirates, or the, gaggggggggg, San Diego Padres????!!!!
Oh-my-aching-baseball-card-collection how I loved the smell of salty air down by that border town.
The Orioles took right handed pitcher Kevin Gausman with the fourth selection, the Royals took University of San Francisco righty Kyle Zimmer at five, those darn Padres took Harvard-Westlake lefty Max Fried at the seven spot, and the Pirates captured Stanford righty at eight. The first four pitchers selected.
(I hate the Chicago Cubs now too because they had the six pick and chose outfielder Albert Almora from Mater Academy... and I had wanted so much to have a headline that screamed, “THE CUBS WIN! THHHHHHEEEEEE CUBS WIN!” after Baker was chosen).
Gausman has been compared to big leaguer Kevin Brown and has long arms and is projected to be a team’s number one starter, Zimmer has an outstanding 80-mph curveball and is projected to be a teams number two or three, Fried’s idol is Sandy Koufax (can’t complain about that), and Appel was projected to go number one overall with his 97 mph fastball.
But, mercy me, have any of these lads ever watched Celebration????!!!! Or the Perseverance Theatre????!!!! Or touched that Crimson Bears logo????!!!!
I ask you... have they met an honest to goodness gold miner up along that secret creek????!!!!! I tend to think we would hear them coming long before we saw them on the trail, those touristy bear bells just a ringing like it was Sunday church. So, no, they have not.
“Some of the pitchers I have been watching the whole year,” Dylan Baker said during Monday’s draft. “Because they said I threw like them.”
Scouts, handlers and those in the know have compared Baker to Appel, Zimmer, and Gausman. Baker has a fastball in the mid 90’s and there are two draft days remaining.
“I think I can throw like them,” Baker said. “The toughest part is just waiting. I am just sitting here talking to my family. Just hanging out.”
After 60 picks on day one, 28 pitchers were chosen.
Okay, I don’t really know whether any of these selections have done any Alaskan things like, oh, swimming through Lynn Canal with a crab-line in your mouth while looking to harness a humpback whale for a ride.
I don’t know if Baker has either.
I just know he is from Juneau. And that is enough.
“I am just nervous,” Baker said “You just never know what will happen.”