Time for pigskin.
No, not Pigskin 621 A.D., the Sega Genesis arcade game released in 1990 that featured a troll that would come onto the screen to help the losing side.
And not pork rinds.
Those amazing snacks that tasted oh so good in the ‘70s when the bag said “baked” and the buyers thought it meant themselves.
Nope, time for the ‘ol leather pigskin footballs to start flying around college and NFL stadiums.
As I mentioned last year, I am still trying to draft my Swedish swimsuit models into the office fantasy football league and I am still being met with resistance from everyone above the press room floor.
Those guys down operating the Goss Internationals and I are about to form our own league, although I am finding it hard to agree with their requests of allowing trolls in the league.
At any rate, until this is all hashed out with the publisher, who hails from football crazy Utah, I will have to satisfy the town’s football Jones with whatever we can find.
I know you all were up in arms that Heisman Trophy winner “Johnny Football” Manziel got a half-game suspension, which makes about as much sense as any of the afore-mentioned topics I just typed down.
The NCAA and Texas A&M “confirmed there is no evidence Manziel received money in exchange for autographs based on currently available information and statements by Manziel.”
And I bet he wasn’t arrested for being in a bar fight near campus last summer and charged with disorderly conduct, possession of a fake ID and failure to identify himself to police.
I bet there wasn’t a plea deal that had other charges, and the disorderly conduct, dismissed.
I get it. An investigation into the autographs could have ruined the season for the seventh-ranked Aggies.
Now it is up to Alabama to ruin it for them in a couple weeks.
Last night saw the college games most devastating player be a little less devastating than a troll, but still pretty entertaining.
South Carolina’s Jadeveon Clowney, who knocked the helmet off a Michigan runner in the Outback Bowl last season, did not have a sack and finished with three first-half tackles.
Unfortunately he would not look good in a bikini anyway so his performance will do nothing to my fantasy standings.
But what about those Seahawks!!!!!
Four-and-ohhhhhhhhh in the preseason again.
That is almost as nice as seeing Jake “the Snake” Plummer here today.
Okay, it is a lot nicer. Of course it is not as nice as watching HBO’s Andrea Kremer and her film crew. That is a journalist’s dream.
Anyway, it seems that the nickname “Jake the Snake” was given to him as a tribute to professional wrestler Jake “the Snake” Roberts... and you all know how Juneau feels about wrestling (we can’t even get our middle school grapplers traveling! Come on, Juneau School District!).
This weekend will see one of the best games of the season.
JDHS hosting North Pole. Both unbeaten. Both moved from the Railbelt to the Southeast Conference. Saturday, 8 p.m. at Adair Kennedy Field.
If Andrea Kremer and her film crew aren’t at that game than we may as well go home and eat baked pigskins.