I'm proud to live in a state that punishes abnormal behavior by preventing deviants from marrying, then denying them benefits because they aren't married. I'm concerned, however, that we have ignored, and thus condoned, a behavior that is even more destructive to our society. I'm speaking, of course, of left-handedness.
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These "lefties" routinely flout societal norms, doing everything completely opposite to the ways of normal people. Do we punish this behavior? No - in fact, we even encourage it by providing special desks in our schools. In our schools!
Some will claim that lefties are born that way, that they've been left-handed since birth. The many effective re-training programs put the lie to the claim that left-handedness is not a lifestyle choice. It has been proven that a regular application of a wooden ruler to the knuckles of the offending hand will soon put a person right.
In some respects, lefties are a greater threat to our society than that other deviant group. Left-handers tend to have children, and these children are often left-handed. Why are we allowing these people to marry? I feel it's time for our leaders to step up; it's time for a constitutional amendment.