New year brings promise of new beginnings
The eighth year of the new millennium has begun. What will it bring, we wonder? For those who have suffered losses of any kind in the past 12 months, the turn of the calendar can promise new insights, fresh approaches to life, a softening of regrets and perhaps the first bold or tentative steps toward regaining a spring in our steps and a joyful openness to what the new year might have to offer.
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Sally Caldwell, Juneau author, recently described eloquently how grief at the loss of her mother was transformed. She wrote the following:
"Being with my mother at her last graduation was a profoundly spiritual event. She graduated to the next life 10 years ago at the tender age of 72. 'Did I get that right, mother? You were 72 then?'
"My mother and I are closer now than any other time in my life. Personality defects, personal conflicts and a generation gap, were all shed at 'The Gate' and replaced by a soul-to-soul connection.
"How is it so? My mother and I had a tumultuous history. We were opposites. Worse, I took after her. And so it was until, as she had predicted, I had a child of my own. And, just as it seemed I'd grown up enough to appreciate her, I got the call.
"My mother was in the hospital, on a ventilator and unconscious. I flew south. I held her hand. I talked to her. I grew desperate to not lose her. And she began to rally. We made plans for the summer. I felt like I was 25 again. We would bicycle through the park and stay up late talking and giggling through our open bedroom doors. We would accept our differences, revel in them and know, too, we are very much alike.
"As she drifted back into the coma, I knew we had completed our work here. I held her hand and leaned in close. I told her I was there with her as she had been with me at the grand moments in my life piano recitals, numerous graduations, the birth of my children. I told her I had been to her house and the laundry was done, the dishes washed. I told her it was her day, her special day to graduate.
"My mother and I are closer now than any other time in my life. When I pass my reflection in the bedroom mirror I often muse, 'Oh, Mother. There you are. I'm glad you'll be with me today.'"
Jean Jasmine, HHCJ bereavement counselor, wrote in the Neighbors section last year:
"I know the path of grief, and like the tunnel the dying see, I know there is light at the end. I know that avoiding it causes more suffering than entering it. I know that its unfolding, though circuitous and rocky, will lead travelers to a new depth of living and loving unknown before the death." To that end, to encounter losses, to help transform them to new levels of living and loving, a wide range of support groups sponsored by HHCJ will begin meeting again after the holidays. There are compassionate friends here, friends who understand the kinds of losses we all face, who can give us courage to pick up our lives and make them rich and full again.
Could one be just right for you? Consider calling one of the contacts for the following groups:
Guidance Through Grief Adult Group: Jean Jasmine, 463-6134.
Children & Family Support Group: Jean Jasmine, 463-6134.
Suicide Loss Support Group: Ron King, 790-4371.
The Wished-For Child: Sara and Mike Chambers, 463-6106.
Snoopy Pet Loss Support Group: Ila Little, 957-6266.
Men's Grief Support: Michael Spainhoward, 586-1023.
Compassionate Friends, Bereaved Parents: Jean Jasmine, 463-6134.
Teens and Grief (TAG): At JDHS, Barb Conant, 523-1650. At Yaakoosgé, Kristi Buerger, 523-1802.
Threshold Choir: Jean Jasmine, 463-6134.
Community Seminars and Individual Grief Counseling: Jean Jasmine, 463-6134.
Grief Information Library: Available at HHCJ office, 419 6th St.
AARP Widowed Persons Service (sister support group): Sue Nielsen, 586-6424 or 723-6424.
• Marge Hermans Osborn is a Hospice and Home Care of Juneau volunteer. Hospice and Home Care of Juneau is a program of Catholic Community Service. CCS serves all persons regardless of their faith.