In response to Jessica Rocco Humphrys' letter, "Who has the right to stop happiness?" (Friday's Juneau Empire), I must say that you are far too young to understand this sort of thing.
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There are "right" unnatural things such as watching football on TV, drinking beer and learning how to read, and then there are "wrong" unnatural things such as marrying someone of your own sex. Just because animals in the wild also perform homosexual acts doesn't mean it's natural.
When you get to be as old as I am, you realize that things are just meant to be a certain way. And that certain way is my way, because I am older than you. That should be reason enough, but I know the current generation doesn't respect its elders, so I'll provide my reasoning.
If we allow gays to marry, then we'll have to provide them with marriage benefits. If we have to provide them with marriage benefits, then we'll have to acknowledge they are people. If we acknowledge they are people, then we have to acknowledge they have equal rights. If we do that, then when I call them "fags" or "queers" or "dykes," it will make me look like a horribly prejudiced and bad person, and none of us wants that.
It'll also set up a slippery slope. If we allow gays to marry, then who'll be next? Illegal Mexicans? Pagans? Canadians? It'll open up too many possibilities. Too many possibilities for evil.
And, of course, there's the fact that if we allow gays to marry, we'll be letting them make that choice. Everyone knows homosexuality is really a choice - all those gays who say it's not are just part of a vast conspiracy to "recruit" heterosexuals to their side. You see, they willingly take all the abuse and ridicule I dish out to make themselves out to be martyrs for a cause - a cause that entails destroying humanity for the liberal cause.
So you see, homosexuality is wrong. When you're older, you'll realize the world is black and white.