'Mall Cop' does all right initially but starts to unravel

Remember "Old School"? It was when Will Ferrell was still at his peak. It also featured one of my favorite comedy scenes from the past decade: Ferrell accidentally fires a tranquilizer dart into his own jugular, prompting a mulleted Sean William Scott to say, "Dude! You've got a f***ing dart in your neck!" Ferrell, already feeling the effects of the tranquilizer, laughs and says in a slurred voice, "I like you. But you're crazy."

For some reason it was this scene that came to mind when I was leaving the theater after taking in Kevin James' "Paul Blart: Mall Cop." I like you, Kevin James, but Paul Blart I do not care for.

On paper, this movie looks golden. Kevin James proved himself on the small screen with CBS' "King of Queens," and then proved himself on the big screen in "Hitch." "Hitch" was a Will Smith movie, but any honest soul will tell you James stole the film.

Most recently, James paired with Adam Sandler in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry." Thus, little surprise that Sandler's production company (Happy Madison) is behind James' first try as leading man. Throw in James co-writing his own vehicle and the safe assumption is "Paul Blart" will be funny, showcasing a talented comedian.

On paper, the concept is also promising. An overweight mall cop who can't get onto the real police force thanks to his hypoglycemia always kicking in at inopportune moments finds himself in a "Die Hard"-like situation when bad guys take over his mall. The unlikely hero is forced into hero duty, and laughs are had along the way.

Or not.

James does all right initially as Blart. There was a chuckle or two from me when Blart's hypoglycemia first strikes on the obstacle course at the New Jersey Police Academy. After the opening scenes, though, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" starts unraveling. James has his moments, and gets decent mileage out of his Chris Farley-esque physical comedy. Those moments, though, are just way too few and way too far between to hide the jumbled mess surrounding James.

Blart, a single father, develops a crush on one of the mall's boutique workers, Amy (Jayma Mays). She's a cute, skinny red-head. James is appropriately awkward around her but still manages to gain some ground before an embarrassing display of drunkenness at a dinner get together. Aside from the fact that Mays and James have iffy chemistry, and ignoring for the moment that we accept the idea that a guy like James can get a girl like Mays (what would we think if it were Rosie O'Donnell getting a guy like Brad Pitt?), the main problem is that "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" doesn't really elicit laughs.

It elicits sympathy.

I felt bad for Blart. I felt bad for his slightly overweight daughter Maya (Raini Rodriguez). I felt bad for cocky pen salesman Stuart (Stephen Rannazzisi), who is obviously a sad and lonely man behind his mask of jerky confidence. I felt bad for director Steve Carr, who is painfully out of his element directing action sequences; it doesn't help that he's been given a group of X-Gamers as his villains (how was this ever considered a good idea?). I felt bad for Keir O'Donnell, who plays the main bad guy. He was so good as the creepy, gay, crazy brother in "Wedding Crashers." Here, he is hung out to dry with a plot that's sketchy and dialogue that's forced.

That's a lot of feeling bad for a light-hearted Kevin James comedy.

I still like you, Kevin James. But Paul Blart, I do not.

• Check out Carson's movie blog at www.juneaublogger.com/movies.