Oh my goodness gracious, call out the guard, marriage is under attack. Bleeding traditions everywhere you look and savage demands of equality committed with reckless abandon by homosexuals across the nation. Poor Mike Shakespeare. How does his reeling mind shut off and sleep at night?
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I mean, good cow, we're talking about an institution that has been around forever. And any institution that's been around forever needs to be protected. You turn your back for one second on these kinds of things and next thing you know, black folks are eating in your diners and women folks are wearing pants and voting. And some of them even talk back to their husbands.
Master Shakespeare obviously knows his stuff. He backs it up with "facts" from Fox News - you know, those folks who call themselves "fair and balanced" and don't even crack a smile when they say it. Now that, my friends, is control.
Good luck on preserving this most sanctified of unions; you need it in tip-top shape next time Britney hooks up. Lord knows Britney needs some stability. If numerous weddings are what it takes to make this gal happy, then by golly, let's take care of it. Practice makes perfect, and she can take as many chances as she wants, because we'd never want someone like her to be disenfranchised or feel the sting of prejudice - that's reserved for the second class citizens.
One final thought for those with such vehemence against same-sex anything, methinks you doth protest too much. Look inside yourself first and find out if this hate for gay people is actually self-loathing. It happens more often than you will ever know.
Tracy L Moore