It is evident from recent letters to the editor that much angst exists regarding what to do next about the high school dilemma. Should it be built at all? Should it stay in town or be in the Valley? Luckily, being a seer of the first order and as mayor emeritis of Tee Harbor, I have the solution: The next new high school should be built at Tee Harbor.
What a great idea, you declare. But where could it be sited? There is sufficient vacant unused land out behind Ken Montoure's chicken ranch, which currently supports only three head of chicken. Eggs-ploratory studies at the site could begin immediately.
Tee Harbor has always been a very yeasty place for uprisings and enlightened thinking. Conservatives from the Mendenhall Valley, whose motto is "If you're patient and wait long enough, nothing will happen," seldom set foot near the progressive outpost community. Additionally, the Tee Harbor mayor's office down at City Hall does not subscribe to messy, time-consuming processes like consensus building, so sticky details like class size and teacher pay can be hammered out with ease. I also foresee a post for myself as Tee Harbor superintendent of schools and I can get in on runaway executive compensation before it gets too late.
So instead of considering the recent election results as a barnacle on the wheel of progress, let's do the right thing and build it soon in downtown Tee Harbor. This will eliminate festering resentment between the Valley and downtown, a solution I'm sure you'll recognize as slicker than bus station chili. A gnawing grain becomes a pearl. Education takes another giant leap forward. And no longer will President Bush be able to ask: "Is our children learning?"