A Fourth of July allegory

Posted: Tuesday, July 11, 2000

Independence Day came this year at a cost. There was the possibility of peace and tranquility, which are desirable elements addressed in the preamble of the U.S. Constitution. Even the weather cooperated. It was beautiful.

But, the nocturnal beauty of the Southeast sky was rent with flashes of colored light far too brilliant for the human eye. Detonations of fireworks with awesome decibel readings reverberated among our pristine mountain peaks numbing the auditory nerves of the populace. It was ghastly. There is an opportunity for innovation. The first researcher to develop the totally dark and noiseless aerial bomb should be awarded a Nobel Prize.

Then, there was the activity of the next day and the parade. Revelers were having a joyous time. People were talking, laughing, blowing their horns. Young, tanned couples were strolling arm in arm cooing with romantic words of affection. Parade marchers were the instigators of all sorts of intolerable intrusions upon our collective senses. It was noisy. Band music contributed its share to the general bedlam.

It was a bright and noisy holiday and everyone was having too good a time. It's a situation that must be corrected. There is a solution. All business, government and commerce should be eradicated. All bubble machines will be turned off. All trappings of civilization will be obliterated.

In their place, a great cemetery will be constructed, filled with the bodies of human endeavor, vision and constructive ideas. Juneau would become the Forest Lawn of the north -- a repository of dashed hopes and broken dreams.

It would, in fact, be dead and desolate enough to satisfy the Peace and Quiet Coalition.

David W. De Long


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