Thank you, Mr. Cooper, for your thoughts on the Juneau Fourth of July parade committee. I didn't realize, but now I see it.
Everyone, especially heterosexuals, because there's so many of us walking around holding hands, kissing and expressing our sexual preferences, should keep their sexuality and any implications of it in the closet.
If you can't completely cloak your sexuality on the Fourth of July, then please stay at home, because there's an inherent conflict between celebrating our country's independence and freedom and exhibiting any aspect of your sexuality.
Our children might get ideas that humans are sexual beings. Bottom line: Freedom and independence have nothing to do with sex and forthwith all sexual activity is banned on the Fourth of July.
Oh, and if you aren't able to wave flags and play the Star Spangled Banner or perform some other expression of your freedoms without political overtones, then on the Fourth of July you should stay home too.
Or at least make no sound and dress in camo so nobody will notice you expressing yourself. Because that's what the Fourth of July and our great country is all about: It's about my ability to silence and shut-away people who express different opinions and lifestyles so I can teach my children that they too can grow up pretending no one has different opinions and lifestyles, and freedom does not imply or require tolerance.
That's what is great about America; we derive our strengths from allowing people to publicly declare their differences and then fearfully lashing out at the ones we perceive as different.
Thanks for clarifying that for me, Mr. Cooper. I was lost, but now I'm found.