Caregivers provide love and service
Many burdened by physically, mentally tiring work
The hours are long and irregular, the demands are psychologically and physically tiring, and the pay is nonexistent. But most people who hold this job don't even acknowledge the fact that they're working.
Unpaid caregivers - husbands who take care of wives, daughters who take care of aging parents, parents who look after their developmentally disabled adult children - often are an unacknowledged entity in a community's support system for seniors, said Jill Sandleben, program director for Southeast Senior Services, a division of Catholic Community Service.
"It's about the hardest job you can find in the world," she said. "... But caregivers tend to minimize the amount of effort it takes. It's remarkable - an incredible act of effort and love and service."
Southeast Senior Services and the Alzheimer's Disease Resource Agency of Alaska will present a series of educational seminars this month, National Family Caregivers Month.
About two years ago, Ted Vadman's wife became ill and spent eight months in a hospital in Seattle. When the couple returned to Juneau, Vadman hoped his wife would be able to live in Wildflower Court, a nursing home and assisted-living facility in Juneau.
But when a space didn't open up at the nursing home, Vadman decided to take care of his wife on his own.
"I never realized what I was getting into as a primary caregiver," said Vadman, 65. "Not only the physical, but the emotional, stress involved."
Now, more than a year later, Vadman and his wife have gotten into a routine so he can leave the house every once in a while and take a break. But it hasn't been easy.
"I can remember at two or three o'clock in the morning when things weren't going right - I was like a baby, just crying and not knowing what to do," Vadman said.
Tom Stewart, who began acting as a caregiver for his father when his father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's four years ago, has had similar experiences. (Stewart is not the retired judge of the same name.)
He or his wife makes dinner for his dad every night. He also arranges for his father's breakfast and lunch, handles any emergencies that arise, and coordinates his father's travel to Montana with family down south.
Though he has two children, a full-time job and a wife who works part time, Stewart doesn't see taking care of his father as an optional activity.
"I lose my patience and withdraw a little bit, but you just have to deal with it," Stewart said. "What else are you going to do?"
Family caregivers often experience frustration related to their unofficial jobs, said Fred Howard, who works at the Senior Information Office and Caregiver Resource Center for Catholic Community Service.
Though the Caregiver Resource Center offers support for those who take care of the sick or elderly, sometimes the center's resources go under-used, he said.
"There's always a little hesitation," said Howard. "Their life is so fragile and sometimes even embarrassing. They don't want anybody to know what they're doing."
Once a person acknowledges that they are caregivers and they need support, they often have trouble finding time to visit the center, he added.
"The needs are great, but the time isn't always there," he said. "It's really about trying to build your support around the caregiver."
The first seminar for caregivers, given by a professor of neurology at New York University on a potential Alzheimer's vaccine, will be from 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Monday at the Westmark Baranof Hotel. Other seminars will be on the legal issues surrounding care provided to loved ones, and on the local services offered for caregivers.
The Southeast Senior Services also plans to start a caregiver support group later this month. For more information on the seminars and the support group, contact Southeast Senior Services at 463-6192.
• Christine Schmid can be reached at cschmid@juneauempire.com.