I am writing this on Election Day. Every single race is a nail-biter and though it is geeky to admit, I am a political junkie. For the last few weeks, I have been mainlining political news coverage as my principal source of entertainment. When you read this, it will be Thursday, and the election will be over, votes tallied, finito. Like more than a few of you, my mood may darken depending on how things turn out.
The first half of this column is a prescription for whichever half of the population voted for the candidates who lost. Think of it as a worst-case scenario recovery plan, in lieu of moving Outside, for those who fear the state is now dangling precariously over a political fire pit.
Friends, I wouldn't normally advise you to drink, but in this case it might not hurt you. That is why I would recommend spending your evening on Friday, Nov. 8, at KTOO's Wine Tasting at the Twisted Fish from 6 to 9 p.m. It costs $30, which includes wine and appetizers. Cabco, the blue cab company, has volunteered to be a designated ride home for a discounted price.
Saturday morning, I recommend some cleansing tea to wash down the aspirin. Then you might pull on your flannel, watch Lifetime on cable, slather on a mud mask and repeat the mantra, "all is not lost" to yourself in the mirror. That night (Saturday, Nov. 9) you can attend the Dances of Universal Peace that will be held at the Unity Center on Seward Street above Rainy Day Books. The Dances of Universal Peace is an international phenomenon held in Juneau twice a month. Organizers describe it as a "simple, meditative, spiritual dance" that incorporates movements from many cultures and religious phrases and chanting from numerous religions.
I must say I have had some clinical success with what I like to call "retail therapy" (read: shopping). I also find drama healing. With this in mind, you might combine the two by going to the Bishop Kenny Memorial Auction on Saturday, Nov. 9, at 6 p.m. It costs $25 and the proceeds go to benefit Perseverance Theatre. The Thunder Mountain Big Band will play, awards will be presented and you can bid on a power-parasailing trip over the Gastineau Channel. This year the Bishop Kenny fellows are Aaron Elmore and Katie Jensen, founders of Theatre in the Rough. The Bishop Kenny Founders Award will be presented to the venerable Joe Ross, theater old-timer and one of the founders of Perseverance Theatre.
Now, in case you voted for winning candidates, allow me to suggest this course of weekend fun for the smug and carefree citizen.
First, you should do some victory laps around the Capitol to warm up for the "sick pow-pow" (translation for non ski-bunnies: "very impressive powder snow") you'll see if you go to the Warren Miller ski movie, "Storm." It will play Thursday, Nov. 7, at 5:45 and 8 p.m. at Centennial Hall. Admission is $7. You could also shimmy into your cowgirl skirt and go to the contra dance, which is also Thursday, at 7:30 p.m. at the Terry Miller Legislative Building gymnasium.
Then, you should throw a party, just to celebrate your candidates' victories. Be sure to make a few partisan champagne toasts and pass the hat for the next election season. At the very least go to the Triangle Bar, ring the bell, and buy a round for the house.
Finally, an option for those of you who could not care less and are glad the election is over so you don't have to watch political ads: go to the movies and hide out. I would recommend "24-hour Party People," a documentary about the British punk rock scene in the 1980s. It is playing all weekend at the Gold Town Nickelodeon.
Julia O'Malley can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.