My Turn: One person's vision of past, present, future
I almost got teary-eyed as I wistfully remembered when I was as smart as Chris Behnke, Juneau's adolescent sage (My Turn, Nov. 10). I briefly remembered the halcyon days of sitting cross-legged in the dorm room plotting the overthrow of the running dogs of capitalist imperialism as the sweet smoke of burning draft cards wafted through the summer air. Of course, it was always the sweet smoke of cards bearing the precious 2-S student deferment. The guys with the 1-As that could send your precious little pink behind to Vietnam apparently weren't enlightened enough to burn theirs. That 2-S was proof of our enlightenment and our solidarity with the worldwide proletariat. I almost went looking for some flowers for my hair as I wrote that!
For a moment the former critic in me returned as I almost gasped at the display of pure animal talent as Chris used unsubtle irony and ham-fisted sarcasm to engage the entire lefty lexicon in his paean to the proletariat.
We mere men quake at the visage of Super Man whose pure creative talent is unalloyed by experience, wisdom or self-awareness. Chris' masterful display of government-school deconstructionism completely shattered the mythology of our patriarchal, Eurocentric, linear-thinking civilization. I truly had an existential experience as I wondered why I should continue my worthless existence.
Then near the end, Chris' real point came to me, and it was the same point similar pieces had back in 1969. Chris, your precious little pink behind is not going to get drafted. Modern capitalist war is far too intellectually and physically demanding for the general run of slack-jawed boys in baggy pants cranked out by the government schools. The only time you will ever have to worry about that is should the Capitalist Satan ever come to blows with the great Communist Utopia of China. If that happens, the choice should be easy for you.
Until then, don't let it all worry your pretty head. You live in one of the few places on Earth where you can still share stupid ideas with the college students of 1969 and make a living.
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