Chances It's Worth Your Cash: Holiday Edition

Posted: Thursday, November 11, 2010

It is true.

The first time I submitted a "Chances It's Worth Your Cash" column, I was doing it because there were no new movies that weekend that seemed worthy of my cash. Ironically, out of my reluctance to pony up the greenbacks that weekend (laziness, cheapness, whatever you want to call it) came a column I dug the hell out of writing. Admittedly, I have been on the perma-lookout ever since for circumstances that might merit a quick note to my editor, "C.I.W.Y.C. this week?"

This was one of those weeks.

Other than "Due Date," the new comedy from Todd Phillips ("The Hangover") starring Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis, nothing was even remotely tempting. A friend's concise text-review of "Due Date" made my decision easy:

"Not as good as 'The Hangover,' but then again nothing is. Also, I am now oddly attracted to Robert Downey Jr."

Yes, in case you are curious, that text-review came from a female.

"Due Date" (C.I.W.Y.C.: 75%, Chances you develop a crush on Downey Jr.: 25%)

"Skyline" opens this Friday. Aliens. Los Angeles. They ain't friendly. The special effects company Hydraulx is actually behind the camera for this one. They did the effects for "300" and "Avatar," so at the very least you can trust that the visuals will pop. Hydraulx's guys also wrote the script, which is gutsy. And by "gutsy" I mean the dialogue might seem like Sarah Palin was in charge. (C.I.W.Y.C.: 99%)

The final "Harry Potter" flick is so long you get to pay for it twice! Part one comes on the 19th. (C.I.W.Y.C.: N/A: you are either a geek or you are not)

One day before Thanksgiving (Nov. 24), we will get two very different options on the big screen. Dwayne Johnson (he has dropped "The Rock" entirely now, but really, would you rather be called "The Rock" or "Dwayne Johnson"?) gets to kill a lot of bad guys because they killed his brother in "Faster" (C.I.W.Y.C.: 44% in theaters, 88% on DVD). Meanwhile, a lot less blood and lots more tears are likely in "Love and Other Drugs," an Edward Zwick directed rom-com with Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. (C.I.W.Y.C.: 100%! That's right. A sure thing. If you go and do not like it, feel free to write me through the paper and ask for your money back. I'll ignore you. But do feel free.)

If you had to name an actor that can compete with the male half of Brangelina (Brad Pitt) in sexy, who would he be? One of the first answers has to be Johnny Depp, right? He is opposite Angelina Jolie in the action-adventure, "The Tourist" (Dec. 10). How long until the grocery store checkout lanes have magazine covers saying Depp has taken Pitt's place in Angelina's bedroom? (C.I.W.Y.C.: 75%, 100% that it is the sexiest action movie, like, ever.)

"TRON" is a super-cult-classic. Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner starred in 1982, and they star in 2010. Bridges is still Kevin Flynn, and he is still trapped in the digital world he created twenty years after being sucked in. Bridges looks creepily 1982-ish in the previews; special effects are almost too good sometimes. In "TRON: Legacy" (Dec. 17) his son gets sucked in, too, and they have to escape together. (C.I.W.Y.C.: 65%, subject to change after I see the first one so I know what the hell I'm talking about.)

Finally, nothing says "Christmas" like a Coen Brothers remake of John Wayne's "True Grit" (Dec. 22). Bridges takes a second shot at your cash in the title role.

Chances we return to normal reviews in two weeks: 100%.

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