My Turn: 'Responsible' youth drinking can cause permanent damage
Parent, rethink your good intentions. As we have all heard at one time or another, they can pave the way to Hell.
Recently I have noticed several advice columns specifically reinforcing the illegality of serving or providing alcohol to minors, no matter where. However, please pay attention to this, something I have not yet seen adequately addressed:
"Research shows that the earlier a person begins using alcohol, the greater the risks for developing alcoholism. The age of first use increases the risk of lifetime alcohol abuse and dependence." (MADD hotline, 1997).
By "good intentions" I am referring to the tragically mistaken belief that by supervising your child(ren) in a so-called safe home environment you can teach them "responsible drinking," since you assume inevitably they will be exposed to the temptations of liquor.
Nothing, nothing, nothing could be farther from the truth.
For almost two years I have facilitated a weekly substance abuse group at our local detention center. Periodically, confidentially, I hear stories that would make your heart break and your skin crawl. Some are worse than others, of course, but we always hope we can find something to diminish the damage that alcohol, prematurely introduced to the human body and brain, has wreaked.
These are children in adult bodies wrestling with some of the most "cunning, baffling and powerful" (Alcoholics' Anonymous Big Book) issues that have historically haunted global society.
And every one in this group started out with substance abuse issues which led them to violating adult laws.
I know. I ask them. And 100 percent of the time when I ask "why did you start drinking (or smoking or using) in the first place?" I get the same answer: "I wanted to look cool, fit in, belong."
Next question: "Where did you find your first liquor (or current, even)?" Again, same answer: family or other adults, some who don't care about your children one way or another.
Twenty-one as the legal age to purchase alcohol is not an arbitrary number picked out of a hat: "The human brain continues its basic development well into the early 20s" (MADD hotline, Bellis and Clark, 2000).
Adolescence is more than just a period of significant hormonal growth; the brain itself is changing, shifting connections, developing lifelong memory patterns, and creating physical and psychological tendencies for your son or daughter.
So it doesn't matter if your children are drinking in your own home, at Uncle Henry's 90th birthday party, or sneaking into some bar with a false ID: Your children's brains will be negatively, perhaps permanently, damaged by alcohol - period.
If you are now wondering "But what can I do? I just thought if I were there to supervise, limit quantities, talk about the dangers of drinking too much..." First of all, the possibility of learning how to control such a new and powerful mind-altering substance at such a young age, with many other changes confronting them, is tentative at best. You are sending the wrong message.
Responsibility and legality are not the issues here: brain damage is.
Many studies collectively conclude that boredom and stress are the top two contributors to the temptations of adolescent drinking. This being the holiday season, please do not give your children such a potentially lethal gift as a colorful theme-oriented wine-tasting party. Challenge your - and their - creativity with events/gifts that don't even suggest this type of association.
Please, more than think twice about believing you can teach your children "how to drink responsibly." Don't even let it enter your mind.
Parents, do not de-brain your children.
• Kathryn Arlen is a certified substance abuse counselor technician, and volunteers with youth detention and advocacy facilities and programs.