As the duly elected president and representative of the Dredge Lake Beavers Homeowners Association (DLB-HA!) I need to inform you that, based on the recent man-talk we have been hearing, the DLB-HA! recently conducted a town meeting and there was unanimous consent to voice a dissent to the people of Juneau regarding the excessive, unwanted and undue intrusions into the DLB-HA!, which includes people, people on bikes, on skis, with dogs, etc.
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We want to know that our decision was made in consultation with other members of our community such as the bears, raven, birds, deer, fish, mosquitoes and so on and that they are in concurrence. The Great Spirit has taught us to live together in harmony.
Based on unanimous consent it was decided, that unless this human-talk of beaver population reduction by humans ceases, that soon legions of beavers will be invading Dredge Lake area neighborhoods and homeowners associations for the purposes to conduct human population reductions. The first phase will start with the Back Loop Road areas and the Montana Creek subdivision, This will be accomplished through damn building and flooding (of houses, roads, common sidewalk dog walking pathways), felling of trees (on houses) - you know? the thing we beavers do well - for the purposes of human population reduction.
Finally, we urge you to cease such anthropogenic rhetoric and live in harmony as the Great Spirit teaches.
John A. Grant