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LaRue: No New Year's kiss? No big deal

Posted: Thursday, December 30, 2004

Got a problem with your love life? Ask LaRue for advice at asklarue@hotmail.com

Dear LaRue,

I don't have a date for New Year's Eve. I feel like such a loser. Everybody's got someone and I don't. What's your advice for people without dates on New Year's?

- Dateless Dilemma

New Year's Eve always imparts some sort of magical line of demarcation between what was and will be. Well, at least what could be. If we've got someone to spend it with, somehow we have something to show for the year we endured.

Plus, superstitious as we often are, we want to start the year the way we hope to live it: by having fun and not being alone. It's a time we get to start over, do better, learn more and right wrongs.

Let's start the new year right: hot date, great meal, drinks, laughter and, piece de resistance, the thing you wait for all year, the kiss at midnight.

I mean that's really what the date on New Year's Eve is all about. It's a public display that someone cares about you, that you're a hot ticket.

I've been on all sides in my more than a decade of dating. I've not kissed at midnight. I've kissed special someones at midnight. Hell I've even grabbed an unsuspecting random or two just to fulfill my midnight obligation, to quell my insecurity, to break the curse, whatever!

There's always point, purpose and great importance placed on that stinkin' smooch. Never mind, I've made out with better all year.

You don't have a date on New Year's? OK. You don't have anyone to kiss at midnight? OK. Are they all going to laugh at you? No.

Think of the dates you've had in the last few years. Think of magical ones where you went fishing, just the two of you, and shared a sandwich. Think of the times you stayed until midnight talking to someone who made you laugh and think. Think of the time you got dressed up and pretended it was your first date. Think about the times just before the break of a new day he pulled you close and told you not to go.

Whether you're with these people by the big day isn't of consequence. You have those memories. They aren't more special on New Year's because a ball dropped in Times Square half a world away.

Why not kiss our way into a new day every day? Every second of every day is new. Every second is a chance to do something different, to begin the reinvention process, to meet and kiss and have and hold the person we want to spend every new year with. We don't need a calendar to tell us this. We just have to do the work to make it happen.

Take the time to appreciate the things you've done right, not just this year but every year leading up to this one. It's made you who you are. You've had little new years all year in every choice you made to do something different. You've had a million midnight kisses in private and no one had to have a countdown to tell you when to do it. And chances are they were better, less forced and more delicious than anything Dick Clark could conjure up.

Don't fret my pet, you are not a loser. You may not have a date on the calendar New Year, but you have at least 365 more days of new beginnings ahead.

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