Between Senate Bill 91, SB 54, and whate’er godless refuse the Senate shall curse our great state with next, one might start to wonder if the Legislature will ever enact simple, common-sense reforms to protect rule of law in our state. I speak, of course, about setting a minimum age of 35 at all ball pits. Too often have my placid mornings at the local playland been interrupted by the screaming of hellions, who, between playing fortnite and eating Tide Pods, somehow find the time to destroy the zen moments of my golden years. It’s to the great shame of this state that my complaints have more often resulted in trespass orders than any retribution on these budding reprobates. It’s up to our Legislature: will our ball pits remain a source of low-impact exercise for responsible adults? Or will those plastic spheres hatch the next generation of super predators?
Mutt Kneddiker,
St. Nagnes Bay