It’s election time again! Once every four years we get the chance to vote for president. It’s our civic duty as citizens in a democracy. Now is the time of year when the catchphrase is, “exercise your right to vote.”
I say, vote your right to exercise.
It’s surprising how much the presidential election and exercise have in common. It’s a presidential race, after all. In Britain, candidates “stand” for the election, but in the United States, they “run.”
There are a variety of exercises that are inherent to a political election. Most well known is the infamous flip-flop. Candidates master this tricky acrobatic maneuver when they shift rapidly from one position to another in response to whatever group of voters they are trying to impress at the moment. It takes an extremely flexible individual to be successful at election flip-flopping.
Another exercise that has gained widespread popularity during presidential elections is the pivot. Formerly relegated to the dance floor, the pivot has moved into mainstream election politics, especially during debates. The exercise goes like this: the debate moderator asks the candidate a specific question about an issue. The candidate expresses fondness for that issue, and then pivots to talk about a completely different topic. Candidates who are quick on their feet will excel at the pivot.
As is often true in our society, this election has generated much discussion about our “divided country.” We seem to be split down the middle in terms of which candidate or political party we favor. Just like in the old days when kids chose sides at recess for a cutthroat game of dodgeball. Adults who suffered through this barbaric ritual as children remember the indignity of being the last one standing after all the “good” players had been chosen. What we don’t often remember is the result: the class was divided into two equal halves which then proceeded to try to annihilate one another. Sounds like a presidential election to me.
Competition defines both exercise and politics. In any kind of sports, with the possible exception of yoga, competition is at the heart of the athletic experience. It’s not enough to be able to throw a baseball ninety-five miles an hour; the pitcher wants to be the best fastball thrower in the history of baseball, win a bunch of games, make it to the World Series and end up in the Baseball Hall of Fame. In the same way, the political candidate wants to get endorsements from the finest lobbyists, win a bunch of elections, make it to the White House and end up with his or her very own presidential library.
Exercise is often touted as a good way to relieve stress. Nothing like a hotly contested presidential election to ratchet up the stress in one’s daily life. The stakes are unbelievably high for the candidates, who have a fifty-fifty chance of coming out of the election with either a front row seat in the Oval Office or a one-way ticket back to the minors. Even the spectators can’t escape the stress, as they are bombarded by television commercials, news analysis and presidential debate replays coming at them like those dodgeballs at recess. Time to take a cleansing breath and do some stretches or something.
It’s important to remember that there are other things to watch on TV besides election coverage. The World Series coincides with the final days of the election season. If you’re not wild about either presidential candidate, at least you can get behind a baseball team. The best part is, you only have to suffer through a presidential election once every four years, but you get to watch the World Series every year. Then, when the election is over, you can heave a sigh of relief and look forward to the Super Bowl commercials, knowing that not a single one of them will be approved by a presidential hopeful.
Many people find exercise to be a painful experience. Similarly, a presidential election can be a pain. But in the end, the benefits of democracy are worth the trouble. Don’t forget to vote your right to exercise!
• Peggy McKee Barnhill is a wife, mother and aspiring author who lives in Juneau. She likes to look at the bright side of life.
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