Time to buy those lawn ornaments, stock up on candy bars and get ready to argue over who is more terrifying — it’s election season! More to the point, it’s Halloween! Time to rake those soggy leaves into piles and jump in with a “splorch!” It’s also the time of year to “winterize,” which may involve stocking up on Eggos, knocking the ice off your studded tires and staring at your neighbor’s boat and wondering where he gets that tarpy, shrink-wrap.
To me, it’s the time of year to eat any candy corn that is offered to me, to finally have a justification for the scarves I’m wearing all year and to panic when I realize I have no costume and make up for it by lightly modifying the costume of a previous year. This year I’m a Steampunk Pirate, which is a lot like last year’s costume, Steampunk Dude, but with an eyepatch or something. You do what you must.
Halloween has always been an interesting day. Most holidays aren’t, if you think about it. Easter? Nah, you pretty much know what’s going to happen. Egg in window, egg on counter, egg on chair. Easy-peasy. Thanksgiving? That perennial memorialization of food and awkwardness? That will never change. Saint Patrick’s? Ok, maybe you don’t remember much of last year’s St. Patrick’s, but it was nothing new. Christmas has more variety than your run-of-the-mill holiday, but Halloween has always had the blue ribbon in keeping things interesting.
I mean, the latest, wildest, Christmas craze? Elf-on-the-shelf: an innocuous object you hide in your house, conspicuously vintage in design so it still feels like an old, comfortable tradition. But the latest Halloween craze? Actual creepy clowns. Christmas, are you even trying? Plus no other holiday would toss Alexander Hamilton, Miley Cyrus and a zombie Batman into the same room, just to see what would happen, like Halloween does. Really, the whole idea of scaring people is that you keep things unexpected from year to year.
Of course, although still a bit wild, today’s Halloween is tamer than its ancestor. It’s no longer just “tricks,” it’s “trick or treat!” And our October holiday does have its more reliable aspects: costumes, tiny boxes of Nerds, four-year-old tootsie rolls and repeating playlists that pretty much just consist of Monster Mash, the Adams Family theme and a couple Oingo Boingo songs. Also those inexplicable caramel apple pops that seem to show up out of nowhere this time of year.
I don’t know if you grew up like me, but Halloween was never a big thing in my family. At best, it was mildly accepted. If that wasn’t enough to dissuade me, an early snowfall the one year I tried trick-or-treating that meant my freezing, 4-foot, 1st-grade self had to posthole my way through a neighborhood of snowy driveways, with little to show for it. It took me quite a while to develop any sort of appreciation for the holiday.
What we did definitely practice, however, was the Harvest Carnival tradition. It’s basically Halloween, but in a barn-style carnival for younger children. Cakewalks, corn-hole and the like. Costumes ranged from mild to extra-mild, and no one had to be outside. It wasn’t too bad, really. You can find some this year at the Nugget Mall or at some churches. They’re great for younger kids. In fact, there are all sorts of goings-on that day, too many to list here. Obviously you can either hand out candy or go trick-or-treating in your own neighborhood, but I can tell you from personal experience that the flats by the Federal Building are pretty cash when it comes to friendly houses. If your kid has any allergies, look for turquoise pumpkins, which signal allergy-aware homes.
Now, if terror is your thing, there should be a more grown-up haunted house at the Juneau Arts and Culture Center from 2-10 p.m. on Halloween. Oh, and if you’re looking for a great spooky story, by the by, look no further than the downtown Hearthside. There you’ll find an unassuming blue paperback on a stand by the counter. It’s called the Strangest Story Ever Told. Buy it. Don’t ask what it’s about. Just make sure you read it in a suitably creepy environment, like at a fire by Sheep Creek, or in the Treadwell ruins or by that windy adit door at the start of Perseverance.
Anyway, I hope your Halloween is safe, fun and even wild or scary if that’s your thing. Hope a black bear does not cross your path, or a black cat either.
• Guy About Town appears the first and third Sunday of every month and includes seasonal musings on what changes and what doesn’t in a small town. Guy can be reached at unzicker.music@gmail.com.
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