At some point we all experience our own crisis or that of a family member, friend, or co-worker. Some forms of crisis are newsworthy and receive media attention. But most of us go through our own forms of crisis alone, often misunderstood, and even blamed.
Crisis can include such realities as abuse, shattered dreams, problems with children, relationship breakdown, divorce, health crisis, grief or political chaos. We quickly realize how common crisis is.
It is important that we seek to understand some characteristics often expressed by people in crisis. Here are a few:
• People in crisis tend to isolate themselves. It’s hard to believe that what we are experiencing can be experienced by others. Crisis can cause us to feel different, angry, hopeless, ashamed and lonely. Without people around us we escalate our pain.
• People in crisis tend to be very tired and fatigued. It takes a lot of energy. To hide our fatigue we tend to use a lot of cosmetic behavior. We try to appear happy and successful; yet doing so only increases our fatigue.
• People in crisis often lead lives that border on chaos. This can lead to addictive behavior and a host of patterns that can be very destructive. Self-medicating our pain only increases chaos.
• It’s hard to care for ourselves when in crisis. We often don’t acknowledge our needs. We may try to borrow happiness, meaning, love or faith from other people. That doesn’t last. In fact, we may be worse off than before.
• Crisis can make us both volatile and fragile. We may give the message that we are very strong when in fact we are baffled and confused.
• People in crisis tend to be fearful about the future. What is going to happen to me? Am I going to go through this alone? These are legitimate paralyzing feelings. Often anger toward God and other people is the way we express this fear.
• Crisis can cause us to feel stuck. We hang on unable to move forward, or disregard the past.
• People in crisis long for healing. We experience loss, pain, and failure, hurt and even despair. Hopelessness is a horrible judgment. We feel a desperate need for a sense of wholeness and hope.
People in crisis need a safe place to enter into their pain; where there is a climate of understanding, safety, acceptance and love; where we can get beyond judging ourselves; where we are honored by people who listen and identify with our pain. It is important to honor the reality of crisis.
The divisiveness, unwillingness to compromise and open hostility, that our nation and world are currently experiencing, overwhelm many of us and causes an alarming sense of crisis in each of us. As God’s diverse people in crisis, we are being confronted with national and international issues that divide us and frequently bring angry, fearful and paralyzing responses. We cannot overlook these issues, but we should seek dialogue, empathy, compassion, advocacy, compromise and understanding as we reach out to ALL people. God’s family is all-inclusive and never exclusive.
We long for unconditional love, hope, healing, wholeness, compassion, understanding, and belonging. I encourage you to find a community of faith where it is safe to be in crisis, where hospitality is practiced and where ALL are welcomed with their doubts, joys and brokenness. May we be a “caring presence” who takes seriously our own crisis and “be there” for others in their time of crisis. May we all work together to bring dignity into the lives of ALL people and nations. May we honor the reality of crisis with the unconditional love of God.
• Pastor Larry Rorem is a retired minister of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, living in Juneau.
