I recently read an article by Ed Stetzer, Christian missiologist and church planter, about the “Dechurched.” I have heard the term unchurched before, defined as people who don’t go to church, but “dechurched” was a new term for me. The author defined “dechurched” as someone who had previously attended church, but then stopped because of either hurt or neglect that negatively impacted their life.
One of the things he said was, “Because the church is not perfect and imperfect people can do stupid things, collateral damage can often impact later generations—or even outside observers — as they watch from the sidelines.” (Ed Stetzer, “3 Tips for Reaching the Dechurched.”) Oftentimes “the Church” is blamed for hurtful things people do that negatively impact someone against seeking God. The Church consists of imperfect people and sometimes people are hurt by the church and then want nothing to do with God or Christians or the Church.
I am the first to admit the church is full of imperfect people who don’t always get it right. I am one of them. Looking back over my 32 years as a pastor, I know that I have made mistakes, said regretful things, missed opportunities of caring for hurting people and the list of regrets goes on. But, I think I have learned from my mistakes and realized that God continues to teach me and grow me to becoming a better Christian and a better pastor. What is my greatest regret and fear is being the cause for a person to reject Jesus Christ because of my own inadequacies or falling short of what I ought to be. Or that I may have misrepresented Jesus by being critical or judgmental or neglectful.
The Apostle Paul, writer of much of the New Testament, said in Corinthians 11:1, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” By that he meant that he was trying to be a visible example so others can see what it means to follow Christ. But he qualified that statement of following him on the condition that he was following Christ. The Apostle Paul was implying that sometimes he fell short. And when he fell short of following Jesus, people shouldn’t follow that example. Jesus should be the prime example and where people follow Jesus and the example of Jesus, a person can be followed as sort of an “illustration” of what that means.
In the church, the emphasis is on following Jesus. He is the only one who is perfect and sinless. The rest of the church, including pastors, are all on a journey of becoming more and more like Jesus. But we (pastors or congregants) aren’t there yet; and sometimes, we fall short. Sometimes we make mistakes. Ed Stetzer also said that people who have been hurt need to, “overcome the perception that true Christianity is what hurt them. Oftentimes it is imperfect people who hurt others, not Jesus. Sometimes we, in the church, do or say regretful or hurtful things. But for the most part, I see most people in the church as desiring and trying to live a life pleasing to God. But we aren’t perfect. And I so desire people in the church to focus on Jesus and not people. Even the best pastor or Christian you know has the potential of disappointing you and letting you down or hurting you. But Jesus never will let you down.”
The desire of Jesus is that we belong to a fellowship to learn to love God and to love our neighbor. It is sometimes not the easiest place to learn, but thankfully, in God’s grace, He hasn’t given up on us yet. If you are one of the “dechurched,” consider giving the church another chance. Join us as we all can learn to live by God’s grace, compassion and forgiveness
• Dan Wiese is the pastor of the Church of the Nazarene.
