Facial hair: Alaska’s winter pastime

Friday’s LumberJACC Beard and Moustache Contest — the annual competition pitting Juneau’s burliest beards and most magnificent moustaches against one another — can only be described as a clash between a beauty pageant and a ZZ Top concert.

In other words, it’s a charged atmosphere. People just have strong feelings about facial hair.

“The saying goes that a man with a beard has something to hide. But maybe those without a beard are hiding a part of themselves in the trash,” said Rep. Justin Parish, D-Juneau, a longtime facial hair enthusiast and contest judge.

Eleven hirsute Juneauites competed in three categories at the contest: partial beard (the anything goes category where “styling aids” like wax, glitter or Christmas lights are allowed); full beard, no styling aids and only light trimming; and moustache, styling aids allowed.

The contest took place at the Juneau Arts and Culture Center during their Naughty or Nice party, a carnival-style holiday fête that doubles as a fundraiser for the Juneau Arts and Humanities Council. Guest judges Parish, GG Monroe and Aaron Suring officiated the contest.

[Slideshow | Beard and Moustache Contest]

The Naughty or Nice party started three years ago as a replacement for the JAHC’s annual mini golf event. The council added the Beard and Moustache contest to the holiday party last year as part of an effort to draw young people into Juneau’s art scene, said JAHC board president Eric Scott.

“One of the things we realized we weren’t getting as much as an organization was fundraisers that targeted a younger demographic,” Scott said. “One thing we know is that as Alaskans, we value our facial hair, so it’s a way to celebrate something that’s sort of uniquely Alaskan in that way.”

Alaska’s claim as a hotbed of facial hair was a popular topic amongst spectators and contestants. Whether Alaskans grow them as mosquito protectors in the summer, or “long johns for your face” in the winter, consensus was that beards are beautiful — and hipsters be damned — Alaskans do them best.

“I think it’s a phenomenon down South to look more natural,” said Jeannette St. George, who competed in the full beard category. “I think it makes people look better.”

Jacob Gemmell sported by far the longest and oldest beard. His dark, Rasputin-esque beard is at least a foot long, he estimated, and two-and-a-half years old. He thinks facial hair’s resurgent popularity is just another case of those from Outside stealing Alaskan style.

“I think everyone just wants to be Alaskan,” he said.

Gemmell didn’t have a name for his beard, but Scott, noticing its salt and pepper vigor, correctly described it as a “Fidel Castro” look. In an upset victory, Gemmell didn’t win the full beard category. Instead that honor went to Jeff Boehm, whose distinguished, bushy gray beard looked like it could have sprouted wings and carried him to Valhalla. Boehm has been growing his beard for about 10 months. Never trimming, he lets it grow as “naturally as he possibly can.” He does, however, shampoo and condition daily.

In his previous work as a machinist in a power plant, Boehm couldn’t wear a beard. He’s let it go since moving to Juneau, where he says beards are more accepted. Though he agrees facial hair has made a comeback, he’s quick to point out it still carries a certain stereotype.

“There’s still kind of a stigma out there that people with a beard or moustache might be a little on the shady side, a little untrustworthy,” said Boehm, founder and advocate of the Beard and Moustache Discrimination Society, an organization he recently made up. “I just got run out of a purse store in Seattle. I told the guy, ‘I could buy your store, man.’”

Beards may be back in style, but Parish reminded the audience that, as unconventional as President-elect Donald Trump’s candidacy has been, he’ll keep executive tradition in at least one manner: It’s been over a hundred years since a U.S. president has worn a beard.

Winner of the moustache category, Sean Otness, rocked a musketeer look with long tails curling from the corners of his mouth and a soul patch adorning his lower lip. Otness thanked his ex-girlfriend for inspiration.

“She always hated the moustache, so when we broke up in June, I grew it out for her,” Otness said.

Jay Sparklesnaps (Sparklesnaps preferred to be referenced by his elf name) won the partial beard category with his all-natural “lazy” goatee.

Upcoming for the JAHC is its Holiday Pops Concert on Friday and Saturday, Dec. 17-18. Friday’s performance takes place at 7:30 p.m. at the University of Alaska Southeast Egan Library. The concert changes venues for Saturday’s performance, which takes place at the JACC at 4 p.m.