The bizarre bills other state legislatures are considering

This article will appear in the Empire’s upcoming Legislature Guide.

There’s no such thing as food made with fetuses that a lawmaker wants to ban in Texas, but if there was, residents on food stamps in Idaho might be able to buy that instead of the meat and flour legislators are seeking to disallow.

Female legislators in a couple of state might break rules if their shoulders are visible while voting on such proposals, although it’s not clear how such rules might apply if they conflict with other bills to forbid gender identifying as cats.

Such bills are lurking on the fringes of proposals circulating in statehouses around the country, but not among the bills introduced at the Alaska State Capitol this year – so far.

Alaska has passed some strange laws such as banning kangaroos in barber shops and whispering in someone’s ear while they are moose hunting (you also can’t view moose or push moose out from planes). The state also has no shortage of strange politicians in its history from the mysteriously missing secessionist Joe Vogler in the 1970s to the infamous “Corrupt Bastards Club: in the 1990s to Santa Claus being just one of the 48 who sought to represent the 49th state last year.

However, the 33rd Alaska State Legislature is considering legislation less likely to grab national media attention.

That said, even the sternest of bills introduced here are vulnerable to certain failings detailed below, such as wording with unintended consequences, so the collection below is means for more than mere amusement/alarm. The lawmakers and their proposed laws are sorted into categories of surrealism, making it easily to spot similar indicators that might surface in seemingly reasonable happenings here.

Loony legislation

These bills are often met with bipartisan rejection and derision, although of course coalitions of lawmakers are as vulnerable as anyone to gonzo groupthink. Among some of the current surrealism in statehouses:

— Making kids in Idaho work for lunches at public schools is being proposed by state Rep. Ron Mendive, although so far it’s just a suggestion with specifics or explanation how it wouldn’t violate child labor laws. He’s hardly the first over the years to float such proposals, including one at the congressional level in 2013 that got widespread publicity.

— Also in Idaho, state Reps. Bruce Skaug and Barbara Ehardt banned testimony from youths under 18 at the committees they chair without a legislator’s authorization, although Skaug later modified that to allow a parent or guardian to grant permission following an uproar.

— Next door in Oregon, a bill introduced by state Sen. Dennis Linthicum seeks to adjust the state’s border so several conservative eastern Oregon counties would become part of a “greater Idaho.”

– Preventing people with ties to four countries — China, Russia, North Korea and Iran — from purchasing Texas property or real estate is the effective result of a bill by state Sen. Lois Kolkhorst.

— Texas State Sen. Bob Hall is proposing a bill requiring labeling for food products that contain fetal tissue. There’s a buffet of fack checkers and experts assuring folks no such food exists.

— Iowa lawmakers are seeking to ban food-stamp users from buying meat and flour.

— Indiana state Sen. Jeff Raatz wants to make sure there’s no disruptive behavior by “furries” in schools.

— Sex education would be banned from public schools completely under a law proposed by Oklahoma state Rep. Danny Williams. A bill by another lawmaker in state allows students to use vouchers to escape “trigger schools” where instructors do things such as tolerate furries or disparage the oil industry.

— “The right to bear arms, but not bare arms” in Florida, as lawmakers working to allow concealed handguns with no permits or training also implemented a decree female legislators not show their shoulders in the Capitol building when other lawmakers are present.

— Missouri’s House of Representatives did the same thing, but only for women while they’re on the House floor. The rule doesn’t apply in the Senate. (Alaska’s rules, state women can wear a dress with no mention shoulders or a certain length of their legs have to be covered.)

— Arizona’s legislators voted to shield themselves from public records laws.

Unintended consequences

This is what happens when there are glitches or uncertainties in the finer points of a bill. Such was the case during an Alaska special legislative session in 2021 when a COVID-19-related telehealth bill died due to a provision that would have prevented hospitals from limiting patient visits — a proposal that is again featured in legislation this year.

Notable in this category this year are bills involving drag shows — as in banning or limiting them. The hitch is wording that’s so vague it might apply to activities that are not drag shows.

An Arkansas bill, for instance, states it applies to shows appealing to an undefined “prurient interest,” while drag performers – and neutral legal observers – state such shows (especially kid-oriented ones) frequently don’t have overtly sexual content.

Bills from legislators in Arizona and several other states criminalizing people involved in drag shows within view of kids and/or parents bringing children to such shows. The problem, according to legislative analysts, is the anti cross-dressing language is so vague a parent allowing their child to see “Mulan” or theater folks performing various works of Shakespeare could be arrested.

Satirical statutes

These are generally intended as a funhouse mirror reflection of proposals from across the political aisle, with no intention beyond merely getting some attention in headlines (and maybe a committee hearing where the public gets to pontificate).

— Oklahoma state Rep. Mikey Dollen introduced a bill this year mandating vasectomies for men when they reach puberty, meant after the overturning of Roe v. Wade “to point out how absurd it is for government to regulate someone’s bodily autonomy.”

— A satirical response to the plethora of anti-drag show bills is a proposal by Nebraska state Sen. Megan Hunt banning children from attending church youth groups or vacation Bible schools.

— A ban on teaching about anybody who owned slaves, including George Washington and Christopher Columbus, has been introduced by South Carolina Rep. Jermaine L. Johnson, as a counter to the various “critical race theory” bans circulating in many state legislatures.

There are no known “mandatory snip” proposals (or proverbial equivalents) introduced so far during Alaska’s legislative session.

“Do you know who I am?”

Alaska’s had these at times. They can be powerfully entrenched leaders who feel their feel their fear/favoritism factor makes them invulnerable, or fringe grandstanders complaining loudly and often about being essentially powerless.

— Oklahoma state Rep. Ryan Martinez, after admitting to having several drinks before driving, suggested he was immune from arrest and offered to call the governor after being pulled over by a police officer. The state’s constitution states legislators are exempt from arrest during sessions “and in going to and returning from the same,” except for “treason, felony, or breach of the peace.”

— A Utah lawmaker allegedly tried to “intimidate” police officers into releasing his son after he was arrested on burglary charges, as San Juan County Commissioner Bruce Adams went to the scene with various profane demands to see the arrest warrant.

Empire state of pay

New York’s legislature voted to give themselves a 29% pay raise to a base salary of $142,000 a year, making them the highest-paid in the nation.

In comparison, Alaska’s legislators get about $50,400 per year in base salary (plus an average of about $35,000 in per diem and other expenses) and a proposal reducing compensation last year was unanimously rejected by the state Senate.

• Contact reporter Mark Sabbatini at mark.sabbatini@juneauempire.com