Last week was a nightmare for Rep. Cathy Muñoz. The rage over the letters she wrote on behalf of two convicted felons was understandable. But in a rush to compile evidence so she could say Muñoz is “clueless,” Alaska Dispatch News columnist Shannyn Moore failed to do her homework on House Bill 334.
Muñoz sponsored HB 334 during the last session. If enacted, it would amend current law for how domestic violence is factored into child custody decisions. It got exactly zero press coverage partly because there’s no advocacy group for fathers caught in the crossfire of well-intentioned laws to protect our children.
To explain why I support this bill I have to share part of the most painful period of my life.
In 1996, my wife and I had decided to end our 12-year marriage. We had three children. Just before Christmas we had an argument about whether or not I could move into the other side of the duplex we owned. We had already agreed our 15-year-old son would live with me, and I felt being next door would help me to stay in closer contact with our other two children.
My wife opposed the idea. I lost my temper, called her names and swore at her loudly for more than an hour before I left the house under my own volition. I went to stay at a friend’s house and no had intention of returning home.
Four days later I was served a temporary restraining order. In a hearing three weeks after that I acknowledged what I had done. The judge ruled my words and anger violated the Alaska Statute that defined fourth degree assault. He explained it was a civil decision, not a criminal conviction, and he issued a six-month protective order.
Afterwards my attorney told me that the ruling made it highly unlikely I’d be awarded equal custody of our daughter. She was only 10 at the time.
Nine months later, and before the divorce trial, I refuted accusations related to a second temporary restraining order. They weren’t true. The judge in that civil court case ruled in my favor.
In April 1999, my ex-wife sought protective orders against me for herself and for our daughter even though I hadn’t seen or spoken to either of them for several months. I never got to defend myself because the complaints were withdrawn after the judge in the ex-parte hearing denied her request.
All three cases are part of the public record. Other complaints during those trying years weren’t substantiated. I was never arrested. I had no history of physical violence.
Regarding child custody, shouldn’t a judge have broad discretion to weigh such evidence less critically than a case where the father was criminally convicted of physically assaulting and injuring his partner?
That’s what Muñoz bill would have done. It would not, as Moore claimed, “make it harder for a court to find domestic violence, child abuse, and neglect relevant issues in awarding custody.” A judge would still be instructed to consider those factors, but it would raise the bar from a rebuttable presumption of guilt to “clear and convincing evidence of perpetrating domestic violence.”
Moore shouldn’t have conflated Muñoz’s sponsorship of this bill as a sign she’s insensitive to the welfare of victims. Fathers are sometimes the victims of a different kind of abuse. And when they are, the children suffer, too.
Abuse was the word Juneau attorney Paul Grant used in describing how, in some divorce cases, the current law is used to unjustly restrict a father’s contact with the couple’s children. That doesn’t necessarily mean a mother’s intentions are malicious. Anyone who has experienced a difficult divorce knows that a person’s sensibilities can be drastically altered at such times.
Grant has extensive experience in divorce, child custody and adoption cases. He believes HB 334 is an important work in progress and expects it to be considered again during the next legislative session. And he said Muñoz, and by inference, her three female cosponsors, are brave to stand behind a bill that has a strong advocacy opposing it.
I know of a small group of men who will be very appreciative of their efforts. Dr. George Brown started Father’s Community Café seven years ago. Once a month we talk about the joys that come from being an engaged and loving parent. Sadly, a few fathers have shared stories laced with the hurt and confusion I felt two decades ago. I offer my story to give them hope. I tell them my daughter is 30 now. And even though she lives in Washington State, we have a wonderful, healthy relationship.
• Rich Moniak is a Juneau resident and retired civil engineer with more than 25 years of experience working in the public sector.
